DERRYN HINCH SIGNS FOR PARRAMATTA

Today Brett Finch signed to play the next two seasons for Parramatta (21/7/06)Brett although in general is a fine player(playing this season at Eastern Suburbs Roosters) he comes with baggage,and in signing him the division on the Parramatta Forum is obvious.Some want him.some don't--me? well I'll reserve judgement until after he starts to play.
Derryn Hinch is a 60 year old T V personality of the Current Affairs variety--they call him the" human headline"--always looking for the headline, he came out and accused well loved Australian funnyman Graham Kennedy of dying of aids--he became hated amongst the Australian people--and his career once again (repeat offender) plummeted as a result.He once on a subject on his show--said "shame,shame shame"incase you wonder where the line came from. Derryn Hinch is now confined to doing "Bran Flake" ads for Kellogs on T V and a local radio show .I guess if you were a little deaf,and a little senile,Brett Finch and Derryn Hinch could be confused.
The two characters in this poem do bare the names of two of my relatives--who are of mature years.He is a Parramatta fan--and she probably doesn't listen to a word he says--but thats where the poetry takes over.They are both lovely people--I just borrow their names in

DERRYN HINCH SIGNS FOR PARRAMATTA

OLD UNCLE JOHN,HAD ALWAYS GONE FOR EELS
THROUGH THE GOOD TIMES AND THE TOUGH.
WHILE,AUNT PATSY DIDN'T UNDERSTAND
AND COULDN'T GIVE A STUFF.
AS HE SAT OUT ON THE PATIO
READING PAPER IN HIS CHAIR,
HE SHOUTED TO HIS LOVING WIFE
"OI! QUICK,GET OVER HERE."
"WHATS THE MATTER SWEETHEART?
DID YOUR BACK NERVE GIVE A PINCH?"
"NO,YOU SILLY BUGGER,"HE SAID,
"THE EELS SIGNED DERRYN HYNCH."

"OH THATS NICE," SAID PATSY,
NOT HEARING WHAT HE SAID,
TRUTH KNOWN,SHE'S BARELY LISTENED
SINCE THE DAY THEY FIRST GOT WED.
"WHAT GOOD IS BLOODY DERRYN HINCH?
HE'S MUCH TOO OLD TO PLAY
BESIDES,HE COMES FROM MELBOURNE,
WOULDN'T KNOW OUR GAME,NO WAY.
WE LET JOHNNY MORRIS GO TO WESTS,
AND DEAN WIDDERS HEADING SOUTH.
AND ALL WE GETS IN RETURN
IS THE HUMAN HEADLINE MOUTH."

"THEY SAID HE PLAYED FOR ROOSTERS,
ON THE CONTINOUS CALL TEAM,
AND,THEY SAY WE'VE SIGNED HIM FOR TWO YEARS,
YEAH-----IN YER BLOODY DREAM.
I'M GOING TO RING UP DENNIS,
I'LL GET IN HIS EAR,
SIGNING BLOODY DERRYN HINCH,
I'LL GIVE HIM WHAT,NO FEAR.
HEY DENNIS,IS THAT YOU ?
WHATS YOUR BLOODY GAME,
SIGNING UP THIS DERRYN HINCH,
DENNIS--SHAME ,SHAME---AND SHAME.

"WHAT ?---WHAT ?---WHAT ?,
PATSY,I CAN'T HEAR WHAT HE'S SAYING.
SPEAK UP DENNIS-----SPEAK UP,
WHERE WILL HINCH BE PLAYING?
WHAT ?---WHAT ?---WHAT ?
DENNIS,YOU'LL HAVE TO SHOUT MATE,
WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU'VE SIGNED HIM
BESIDE TIMMIE AT FIVE-EIGHTH?
WELL,THAT'LL DO ME DENNIS,
I'M HANGING UP ON YOU.
SIGNING BLOODY DERRYN HINCH,
YEAH----AND UP YOU TOO."

"WHATS THE MATTER PET?" SAID PAT,
SEEING OLD JOHN HAD GOT UPSET.
SHE ALWAYS KNEW WHEN THIS OCCURED,
BECAUSE HIS SEAT GOT WET.
"AFTER ALL THESE YEARS,"HE MUTTERED,
"AFTER ALL THAT WE'VE BEEN THROUGH,
SIGNING BLOODY DERRYN HINCH,
YES,I'M UPSET,ITS TRUE."
"OH WELL,PAY NO MIND ,"SAID PATSY
LOOKING UP FROM DOING SEWING,
"PERHAPS IF DERRYN BRINGS BRAN FLAKES,
THAT'LL GET PARRAMATTA GOING."